my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize