I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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