and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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