Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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