i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
