you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
