Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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