i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
