i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
