dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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