PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Randomize
