my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
