Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
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