His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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