doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
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