dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize