Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
