honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
