I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
