Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize