So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
