In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
