dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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