tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
