Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I will pee on everything he values.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
