I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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