your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize