You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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