Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
