Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
