D3 body, D1 cock
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
