so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize