On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
