I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
