Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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