I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I think i peed on brittanys purse
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize