ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
