Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
