jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
