Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
