she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
They are going to name an STD after you.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
