Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
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i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
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Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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