I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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