You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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