I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
