he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
