i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
