remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
she smelled like a LAN party
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Randomize
