Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Someone shit on the floor
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Randomize
