3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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