I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize