So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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