hotel room ftw
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
