when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
