I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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