Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
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