; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
vagina is talking i cant
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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