I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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