You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
