I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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