The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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