Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize