Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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