he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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