Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
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It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
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It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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