why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
