oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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